Before How Delish was a place I could walk into, it was a phone call. Chef Q would ring to say she had made something new and I should come taste it. Other times I was the one calling, hoping there was still tiramisu. She lived a few blocks from me then, and I was one of her early customers.
At the time I was vegan, and her banana pudding and tiramisu were among the best desserts I had ever eaten. When we finally sat down to talk, I realized I knew the desserts far better than I knew the woman who made them.
More hats than one
Chef Q introduced herself as a mother of two sons, a wife, and an engineer. Hearing her list the rest, I wondered how many of the people we admire are quietly carrying a whole closet of hats.
Her love of food started in the kitchen with her mother and grandmother. Baking became something more when she was pregnant with her second son. As she changed the way she ate, her recipes followed: first without dairy, then vegan.
A restaurant was never the plan. Over lunch in Montclair, she and her husband learned the restaurant needed a dessert supplier. He mentioned that his wife made desserts. Samples led to an invitation.
One sentence at a lunch table opened a door she had not been looking for. How often does that happen? We tend to tell our lives as if we chose each step.
The next step, seen by someone else
How Delish grew into events and festivals, where customers kept encouraging her to open her own place. She pictured a commercial kitchen, not a cafe, but the question of what came next for How Delish wouldn't leave her alone.
She gave it some thought. They opened the cafe.
Looking back, she called it a good decision. When the pandemic disrupted events, the cafe gave them somewhere to serve people. Confidence, I thought, can look like a private possession. Her story suggested otherwise: customers who believed in her, a husband who asked the right question, and a space that was ready before she was.
Meeting Q
My favorite part was hearing her describe Q as an alter ego. The more reserved part of her might hesitate. Q is the one who shows up. She talked about moving forward even when she was not entirely sure of herself.
I liked that honesty. Behind the food is a person who has had to take chances before she felt ready.
What would we attempt if we let our own Q take the lead more often?
A little quiet
When I asked about self-care, Chef Q did not pretend to have it figured out. She was working on it. She talked about Pilates, walks, meditation, and being in the park. Sometimes she brings her laptop and works from her truck. She has even had food delivered to her car.
She also described wanting a moment of silence before reaching for music. A woman who spends her days making other people's moments sweeter had found her own in something simple: a park, a parked truck, and a little quiet.
That made our conversation about bringing mindfulness to How Delish feel natural: slowing down enough to notice something delicious.
For me, How Delish will always have that banana-pudding-and-tiramisu beginning. Now I hold another picture beside it: a family, a community, and a willingness to take a chance. I am grateful she shared both the woman who bakes and the woman still learning to pause.